The Worley Gig - A Column by Gail Worley

In this somewhat surreal and basically inconsequential business of rock criticism, quite often it's the accidents --- the things that are completely unplanned -- that make the best stories. I'm an old school headbanger from back in the day and that's something I've never been in the closet about. I own the two-disc set of Monster Ballads and "Sex Action" by LA Guns is probably my favorite video of all time, but there are bands from the era of what is now euphemistically referred to as "Hair Metal" that I was never into. One of these bands is Poison. In the 80's, I saw Poison play live a couple of times, on arena tours where they supported Ratt, my favorite band at the time. I always had a hard time taking Poison seriously, even though they put on an entertaining live show with lots of lights and things blowing up and fairly inoffensive pop metal played loud enough to get you rockin'. They were lucky enough to turn a tiny indie label release into a major label long term gig, so more power to them. They weren't a band I had anything against, but I didn't run out to buy their records. When I reminisce about the good old days of Big Hair and Headbangers Ball, Poison is not a band I get nostalgic for.

A couple of months ago, I was writing a story on something called Tokemon: a parody of the Japanese animation phenomena, Pokemon. Tokemon was an internet trading card game based around little characters who smoke pot and get loaded. The piece only had to be a few hundred words, but I needed some quotes to flesh it out and, when I learned that Tokemon characters were being animated by Rikki Rockett, Poison's drummer, I asked the publicist hook me up. That's how, one evening, I ended up on the phone with Rikki Rockett. I called him at his home; A five acre estate north of Los Angeles. Rikki obviously saved his money and invested well.

After five minutes on the phone with Rikki, I had all the material I needed for my story. I could have said "Thanks and Goodbye" right then. I mean, I was paying for the call. But something weird happened. Our conversation turned...personal. Rikki and I got into a discussion of how he got into animation in the first place, and we talked about his work doing Flash Animation for websites. Rikki told me he also collects toys, or specifically, action figures, especially the Todd McFarlane action figures. I'm familiar with McFarlane action figures because they recently put out a series of Beatles collectibles in conjunction with the re-release of Yellow Submarine. I own the complete set. They are really quite spectacular. "I've got the Kiss ones and the Spawn stuff," Rikki went on. "I have a lot in storage right now because I just haven't figured out how to display it all yet. But when I had my comic book company, between my partner and I we must have had a couple hundred action figures." Rikki's comic book company No Mercy Comics, still exists, but is on a temporary publishing hiatus, since his business partner died last year. I couldn't even believe Rikki had so much going on besides playing drums and being this hardcore animal rights activist/vegan warlord. Rikki's next comic will be a Poison-related book released through Image.

Rikki Rockett has his hands all over everything. He is tireless. We didn't even go into his whole Animal Rights thing because I didn't want to admit to Rikki that, as much as I love puppies and kitties, I'm still a big red meat fan. I hope he'll still respect me when he reads this interview.

After we talked about comic books, which I think is very sexy, grown men loving comic books. Call me nutty, but It's a big turn on for me. Anyway, somehow I asked him about Poison and so we had to talk about that for awhile. Poison is still very much a viable unit. In late December they went into the studio with legendary producer, Bob Ezrin (Kiss, Alice Cooper) to record some new tunes. (Sidebar: Since I talked to Rikki, just a week ago actually, CC DeVille quit Poison, but nobody really cares anyway). Last summer the band enjoyed great success touring with Ratt (just like back in the day!), Great White and LA Guns. Rikki says, in some ways, it was Poison's most successful tour ever, considering they had no new material to promote. "We definitely pissed off everybody that wanted to put a nail in our coffin," he says. "We're the only band [from that era] that didn't go out and screw up the last four or five years." Then Rikki named names, "I'm not afraid to say it, Warrant and Slaughter, all those bands, went out and tried to be like heavy and integral. We just came out and went "Hey we're a glam band. Music's a whore, let's dress it up!" he laughed. Rock and Roll!

The coolest thing about Poison is the fact that they are the only hair metal band, and probably one of the few bands actually still together, to be honored with their own Behind the Music special on VH1. Rikki agreed that Behind the Music is the best show on TV and that VH1 has gotten so much better since the days when you turned it on "so you could see Michael Bolton." Unfortunately, Rikki confessed to me, he didn't yet have cable installed at his place, so he couldn't see Behind the Music -- how much does that suck? He said he would probably just skip over the cable thing and go for the full-on Satellite dish, because he digs watching that Ultimate Fighting stuff, and you can't get that on cable. Guys!

Anyway, Rikki and I had developed a rapport by this point in the conversation and I didn't see the need to fellate him with empty praise. Still, I confessed that, watching Poison, Behind the Music, I honestly did think he came off as the coolest guy in the band -- the one who kept it together when everyone else was Od'ing and crashing their expensive sports cars. Rikki even refrained from exploding in a nuclear fury when the guitarist who temporarily replaced the much-in-need-of-rehab CC Deville stole his fiancee. And you KNOW that smarted. After I told Rikki how cool he was he said, "Well thank you, very much." Then I went on to say that bassist, Bobby Dall was a total idiot and that his interviews didn't exactly portray him in a very flattering light, as far as his opinion of women is concerned. Rikki said, "Well, you know what though, you need a guy like that in the band..."

To make everyone else look good by comparison?

Rikki didn't take the bait. "He's not going to win the hearts of feminists but, I mean, Bob's for the guys," he said. "That's his personality. He's like Howard Stern," he laughed, "and he gets that part of the demographic for us." Good save Rikki! Rikki is a sweet guy though and not cut out for acting like a misogynist asshole because, "That's just not my thing." I was impressed that he wouldn't sell out a bandmate under pressure from a female journalist who was obviously recording the conversation and would eventually repeat everything he said. I can respect that. And, you'll notice, he didn't exactly disagree with me.

While we riffed on very incidental, trivial stuff, I mentioned that "Rikki Rockett" is probably the best rock name ever. He said he didn't know about that. There was maybe a way to go one better. "Joan Jett and I were laughing about how if we got married she'd be Joan Jett-Rockett," he laughed. I told Rikki I didn't think Joan was really into guys but he didn't seem discouraged. "She likes me! She hung out with me for three and a half hours. She kissed me on the lips and everything," he said enthusiastically, adding, "but it wasn't passionate. Joan's the coolest, I've loved her forever. I was definitely into the Runaways when I was an adolescent." While we talked, I wrote "Mrs. Rikki Rockett" on my notebook. Just kidding!

I thought my head would explode when Rikki told me about another one of his many cool side projects. Glitter for Your Soul is a tribute album of sorts to a collection of 70's glitter rock bands that, musically speaking, Rikki says most influenced who he is today. "I think others would be influenced by this music if they were exposed to it. A lot of people never knew anything about Mott the Hoople or -- it's really sad -- T-Rex! And Mark Bolan was one of the biggest selling artists of all time in Europe and everywhere else. I became musically aware after Hendrix and the Doors had passed. When I was 14, Aladdin Sane was coming out, Alice Cooper, Kiss -- this is what was happening. Hendrix was already dead and I didn't really discover Led Zeppelin until I was 17. The stuff that really shaped my whole thing was this [glam] music, that's what excited me. So I'm just paying tribute to that.

Rikki's objective on Glitter for Your Soul is to either directly involve, or to find some connection with, the original artist or band. "I want to bring interesting things to the mix," he told me. "What's really cool is I've been talking with Roland Bolan, Mark Bolan's son, and I want him to do a track. I ran into Peter Criss at Drum Day LA and I want him to sing a song. I just think that would be interesting. One of the songs I'm going to do is "Is it My Body?" by Alice Cooper. Poison used to do that song, but otherwise, these are songs that I've always wanted to do and I could never get a band to do them. It's my way of giving back."

After we'd been on the phone for like an hour, I realized I was getting some good stuff and I mentioned to Rikki that I'd probably write a longer article from our conversation. He asked me if I was "going to be mean." I said no way, but I could understand why he would he think that. "The press hasn't been exactly friendly to Poison," he said. "But you know what? It is changing a bit, and I'll tell you why. People who loved our band back when they were teenagers and didn't have the power to do anything, they're now radio programmers and TV people and critics and writers. They're going "Hey, I wanna write about the bands I love!" People don't want to admit they were influenced by Warrant, but they're starting to want to admit that they were influenced by Poison, which is cool. It means we have more legs than we -- or other people -- thought we did.

When my tape was about to run out, Rikki and I swapped email addresses and website URL's and promised to keep each other up to date on our respective projects. He told me I rocked. I told him he rocked. We hung up. The hour of fun, comfortable conversation seemed more like catching up with an old friend rather than talking to a total stranger whose band I wasn't really a fan of. I came away with a new respect and feeling of real affection for Rikki Rockett. Later that evening, I was talking to Linda and I told about the phone call, mentioning I thought it odd that he'd keep talking for an hour to someone he didn't even know, let alone a journalist. Linda suggested that, sitting alone in his big house on the outskirts of Los Angeles, maybe he just wanted someone to talk to. Maybe he was lonely. I don't know. But I still think about Rikki. I'm glad I accidentally got to know him a bit better, and I wish him well.

(Rikki Rockett's many websites can be accessed via http://www.RikkiRockett.com)

Paul and Tal and Other Delights

This time of year, being my anniversary of birth and Valloween at nearly the same time, my thoughts turn to crushes of the heart, past, present and future. Like, a few weeks ago, I was at the Sam Ash Custom Guitar Show at the Hammerstein Ballroom here in the city. I took my friend, Mike, along with me, because he's a musician and I thought I'd feel less like a glorified groupie walking around with someone who actually owned a guitar. The Hammerstein was totally packed by the time we got there, which was about 12:30 PM on a Sunday. Amid the throng of punks and metal guys and girls in bikinis wearing guitars and precious little else, I saw a few of my friends and a few celebrities. There were about a million different extravagantly detailed and decorated guitars on display and for sale and most of them were so beautiful you could die just looking at them. But the biggest freak-out was the line -- five people deep at least, circling the entire perimeter of the ballroom -- of Kiss fans waiting to get an autograph from Paul Stanley, who was hanging out in one of the booths. You know, it's really weird, but no matter how much anyone makes fun of Kiss, the truth is they're probably the most famous rock band in the universe. And let's just admit it, being up close to a rock star that famous just makes you feel like you're five years old. I almost wanted to wait on line to get Paul's autograph, but I don't wait on line for anything because I'm so spoiled rotten.

Mike and I walked around looking at the guitars, trying to figure out how we could cut the line so I could tell Paul he rocked hard or something, but it was impossible -- security was skintight. Surprisingly, Mike and I were able to get about ten feet from Paul just by walking behind one of the displays. From there I could see Paul really up close. Now, I've seen Kiss at Madison Square Garden and from about a zillion feet away, Paul looks like a total God, with his tight spandex trousers and all that long black hair swishing all over the place. I would be lying if I said I'd never fantasized that Paul is the King of the Nighttime World and I'm his Midnight Queen. So, there I was, ten feel from Paul the Rock God...and all I could focus on was...his hair plugs! Come on Paul! It's not like we don't know you wear a wig, but keep the charade up when you're in public will ya!? Talk about spoiling the magic.

Speaking of surprise crushes, a few weeks ago I was on the phone with Canadian pop sensation and heart throb, Tal Bachman, son of Randy Bachman of The Guess Who and Bachman Turner Overdrive for those of you who have your head up your ass. An editor of mine had met Tal at some Press event and told me he came off as kind of stiff. He told me not to expect much. But the thing is, I'm so good at this interview-the-rock-star deal, I could talk to a piece of cardboard and make it sound like the coolest thing on the planet. I get on the phone with Tal, and he's laughing and cracking jokes right away, so we just have a great time. Tal's music is kind of romantic and mushy, but I like it because it reminds me of Queen and ELO -- two of his favorite bands and mine too. I get a crush on him after about 20 minutes. What put me completely over the edge though was when Tal would spontaneously play the piano and sing to me during the interview -- to illustrate a point he was having difficulty expressing otherwise. I actually have him on tape singing "Ooh, I love you" -- it was just unbelievably smooth. I was a total goner. And the interview came out great!

Rock Star Quote of The Month

This month, you get two quotes, because it's Valloween, and I love you so much.

"The Blues Explosion, we make great videos, we make great records, we play great live shows, but we're stuck in the ghetto. We're underground."

-- Jon Spencer, on his confusion as to why his band isn't more popular.

"I don't think we're really trying to resurrect rock and roll. We don't really think about what we do. Being associated with Buckcherry is just coincidence because we happen to sing about cocaine and play loud guitars."

-- Matt Pierce of The Unband speaking of why The Unband rock so hard.

The Worley Gig: There are no accidents round here

Identify the song lyrics and win a CD! The first correct answer is the winner but don't let that stop you. I did this contest for months before anybody ever won. Congratulations to last month's winner, Amit Nitnavare of Pune, India, who identified "Autograph" by the great Bernard Butler. Rock On with Your Bad Self, Amit!

Email Gail Worley

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Also in Pandemonium Online:

Live, The Distance to Here
"Ed [Kowalcyzk] is like a pop star version of Jesus, holding his audience in thrall, as they feel compelled to compete for his affection," says Gail Worley in this CD Review

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