 What
A Long, Strange Trip It's Been
Courtney
Taylor talks about life - and love - on
the road as the Dandy Warhols finish
their 2000 World Tour.
by Steve Stav
After a two-day
marathon bus ride from Michigan to the Coast,
Courtney Taylor is exhausted. The bus parked
outside Seattle's Catwalk Club (the band's been
bumped from the Showbox, in favor of a surprise
Snoop Doggy Dogg concert) looks like it's been
driven through hell, and the pensive Dandy Warhols frontman feels like he
just emerged from Hades itself. Esconced in a
restaurant-turned Green Room, Taylor is getting
his second, or rather, umpteenth, wind. Like a
shell-shocked soldier on the eve of a much-needed
furlough, this head hedonist of a band of
modern-day Merry Pranksters is as giddy as I
think it's possible for him to be. After a tour
that's consumed most of the year, home -
Portland, Oregon - is just a night away.
Pando:
What did you read between Detroit and Vancouver?
Taylor:
I started David Copperfield, but for
some reason I just couldn't focus...I just tried
to sleep alot. I just o'd on Tylenol PM, we've
all been sick, our bus is like the plague ship.
It smells godawful, our bus driver is the
craziest, most bitter, resentful,
passive-agressive psychopath ever. It's just
awful in there, it's hell.
Pando:
How was the Midwest leg of the tour?
Taylor:
It was...great. We've been on the road too long,
(with) all the weird cycles of emotional and
psychological trips you go through as a unit, as
an organism.
Pando:
Who's the peacemaker on the bus?
Taylor:
Everybody. We're like a fuckin' bunch of
comedians - very witty, mildly alcoholic. It's
not like we have any tensions or any weird shit,
it's just when people like this bus driver enter
into it that there's tensions.
Pando:
Have you seen Almost Famous?
Taylor:
No, I really don't watch movies. I own Doctor
Zhivago, I watch that alot...it's my
favorite movie.
Pando:
That's my mom's favorite movie.
Taylor:
It's my parents favorite movie.
Pando:
I think Doctor Zhivago was a big
"date movie" back in the 60's.
Taylor:
Probably because the men wanted women to know it
was possible to have a dual relationship - that
no one woman has everything a man needs...like
petite, frail, sensitive, dark-haired; and then
blonde, strong, chiseled, that whole powerful,
independent thing - that's the underlying crux of
the story. The man, Yuri, he's so well-balanced
up until the end - he's so childlike in his
innocence and his joyful approach to the world.
It's fucking great, it's just an incredible
movie.
Pando:
And a long one.
Taylor:
Thank God. (Watching that) was the last thing I
was doing. I was kind of on a strange,
every-night coke bender. I was drinking and
snorting coke at the bar I do those things at. We
only had six days off - three months ago. I spent
six days getting wasted, chain-smoking cigarettes
every night. We have three months off, now, so
we're going to try to get relatively healthy. I'm
gonna hang out with my parents, go on a cruise -
one of those grandma cruises to the Bahamas, the
Caribbean.
Pando:
What's a better environment for you - Europe,
where everyone is into you, or touring through
Lubbock, Texas...
Taylor:
Everyone's into us in Texas. Everybody's into us
everywhere...though people don't show up to our
gigs. It's not like we're huge, we're kind of a
cult band. We have certain kinds of fans...at
least fifty percent of them wear glasses, they
generally have pretty good haircuts, but they're
not so obsessively hip that they don't have
social skills. They're nice people, probably went
to college and got good grades. They resent that
most people are too stupid to understand them.
And we're this classic, deviant, intellectual,
kind of spaz-arrogant-geek band. Nobody gets it,
except our people. We get it. There's a couple
hundred thousand of us in the world...I think we
provide affirmation and comfort for these people.
Put on our record, and you have things you think
and feel affirmed. When we make a record, in our
minds we're making it us, because we need them,
some other people need them. And then to try and
translate that to a record label who's more
concerned with chart position...why would you
release "Bohemian Like You" as a
single? 'Cause it's catchy? So what, people don't
need "catchy".
We're not
fooling anybody that we're some "smokin'
pot" band. We're just art weirdos who are
into folk harmonies and melodies - Simon and
Garfunkel - and we like the Spacemen 3, so that's
what you get - Simon and Garfunkel harmonies over
Spacemen 3 repetition. And then our label is
supposed to understand that, and of course, they
don't. You explain it to them, and they get it,
and two days later, they don't get it. So they
don't release "Godless" or "Good
Morning" or songs like that. Instead, they
release "Bohemian Like You" or
"Last Junkie On Earth." Like it matters
to anybody...those songs are just fun, just a
release valve from being wrapped up in wondering
what decisions to make in your day.
 Pando: The one
thing about 13 Tales is that the music
is really strong, you don't really even need
lyrics to get the mood and message of the songs.
Taylor:
The lyrics are just me showing off, or having a
good time playing around with words...no, they're
really not necessary to convey the mood.
Pando:
I read that you did some recording with Massive Attack recently. Is there going
to be a new musical direction for your next
album?
Taylor:
Yeah, it was fun working with those guys. Pete
and I got into the "digital world" a
couple of years ago, right before we started on
this record. We were really excited about going
hardcore into "digital land," and then
everybody was doing it, it kinda seemed like no
one was ever going to make a record without loops
and Protools stuff again; we get mostly ignored
by our label - at least at that time, that
previous regime of weirdos, psychopaths and liars
that was Capitol Records when we signed with
them. So we said, "Let's not," and our
Protools rigs have been sitting idle for a couple
of years now, (we've) just been home-recording
and noodling. So we said, "Yeah, let's do
it" - somebody's got to do it right -
actually, some people have - Tricky did some
stuff that's pretty good.
Pando
(photographer Justin Renney): What do you think
of Primal Scream?
Taylor:
Pete loves it, I don't even notice Primal Scream
that much...all my friends are really into them.
I heard a couple of remixes from Kevin Shields,
and they were a little too smarty-pants, too
noise-messy. I like Simon and Garfunkel...
Pando:
On those two-day bus rides through the dreary
rain, do you ever stare out the window and start
humming "America"?
Taylor:
That one is not on any of the Simon and Garfunkel
records we have on the bus, but yeah, it comes to
my head alot - that and "Homeward
Bound". Amazing.
Pando:
Back in the 60's, it was like lightning hit Paul
Simon for a few years...
Taylor:
We listen to Highway 61 Revisited, Blonde
on Blonde, Freewheelin', the White
Album, Plastic Ono Band...even
those guys, who are revered so far beyond Simon -
I don't think they ever touched him at his peak.
I operate under the impression that the most
people you can touch in the deepest way as an
artist, that's the only thing that matters. I
tend to think that people are the only thing that
matters - cars and dogs and soup cans, they don't
matter - they're trivial compared to the "We
are here as a species"...and we're freaked
out and lonely all the time.
Paul Simon was
just a lot deeper and more poignant than Dylan or
Lennon was; he just wasn't as consistent, he
wasn't a "tough guy," or cocky...Bob
Dylan was a fuckin' asshole, he was crazy, he
liked to be mean to people. We watch Don't
Look Back every now and then, and now it
just makes me sick to my stomach to look at that
little fuckin' brat, that little shit...he had
pretty much used Joan Baez to get his
credibility, so she walks around and sings - and
he doesn't speak to her, he makes these mean,
bitter jokes, hurts people's feelings. There's
that famous scene with him and a journalist, he's
got a harmonica and a guitar...(proceeds to
re-enact Dylan's antics with some flair)...he was
being a dick to this guy, showing off for the
camera. Yet that guy wrote all of those
incredible songs. Dylan and Lennon seemed
uptight, bitter, really focused on themselves in
a big way...they were all telling great stories,
I don't know what the difference is...(Simon's
work) is just so touching, comforting.
Pando:
I think Paul Simon has always been this guy that
anyone can relate to. He's not particularly
good-looking - no pin-up, he's this regular
little guy...
Taylor:
But they looked good, they were hip, with pegged
trousers and Beatle boots...they weren't
hyperactive...Dylan and Lennon were hyperactive,
mentally.
That Yoko thing
that she just released, with those two at their
house, and George comes over and it's just a zoo,
with all of the press there. (Taylor comes to
life again) Lennon is singing, "I was
feeling insecure..." and his eyes are
furtively darting around the room, seeing that
everyone's doing what they're supposed to do.
He's being honest, expressing his genuine
insecurities about Yoko, in between making sure
that everyone's in their place, everyone's paying
attention, no one's fucking off!
Paul Simon is
probably a fuckin' sweetheart.
Pando:
Do you ever listen to Carole King?
Taylor:
No...I was hanging out in Austin once with my
girlfriend there - she's really cool, an
ultra-hipster - we were having a cigarette with
her next-door neighbor, and he said, "I have
to go listen to this Carole King song." We
were going to go in and listen, but we realized
that we had to get up in six hours, and we needed
to have some serious sex, so we said, "Fuck
it." I've yet to have the Carole King
experience.
Pando:
I know you love Portland, but have you ever
considered buying a house in Europe to record in,
like the Beach Boys did for their Holland album?
Taylor:
Greece. I think I'm actually going to go to
Greece to finish some songs before we record the
next album. It's just amazing there...we're huge
in Greece, we're bigger than 'N' Sync there.
Greece is the hippest place in the world right
now - their Top Ten is like Mogwai, Nick Cave, the Dandy Warhols...they have no corporate
money, no corporation has bothered to spend money
there, so they're making decisions by themselves
as to what they are as a culture. Their DJ's get
hired for their taste - so if you're a DJ that's
playing music that people like, you keep your
job, if people don't like the music you pick, you
get fired, because people aren't listening to
your fuckin' show. So it really is an honest
system there. We played for like 12,000 people in
Athens...they knew every word. Chumbawumba opened
for us in Athens...they got stoned - people were
throwing rocks at them. It was fucking awful,
scary...and then we went on and the crowd went
"Yeah!"...we were scared shitless.
We went to this
tiny island that had nobody on it - Syphnos - we
made a lot of money in Greece, so we gave
ourselves a week's vacation on this little
island. We would fish...this guy Costa, we would
trade him fish for booze. (Taylor takes a break
to call Seattle's notorious Friehl brothers).
Pando:
Can you get drugs in Greece?
Taylor
(to Mark, the band's British tour manager): Did
we get any grass in Greece? We didn't get any on
Syphnos, did we?
Mark:
Uhh...we did in Athens. We got particularly baked
in Athens. The last night...remember that girl?
Taylor:
Oh, fuck! The last night we were there, I was
gakked out of my head...in that car, she was
pulling her skirt up...
Mark
(to me): Are you taping this?
(Another break)
(Mark strolls by
and gives a condom to Courtney, informing him
that there's a whole jar of them in the
bathroom.)
Taylor
(as he's putting it away in his bag): I love
women who carry condoms in their purses.
Pando:
You see it as a sign of confidence or something?
Taylor:
No, it just makes everything easier...maybe it is
confidence - "Oh, you like sex? Me,
too" - I love women.
Pando:
There's something about latex, though. Those cats
back in the 70's weren't too preoccupied with it.
Taylor
(rolling his eyes): Ohh, I know...I'm so envious.
Pando:
Now that you're stars, do you think you can
persuade Capitol to release the Black Album?
Taylor:
I don't know if they even know about it. There's
only two people or so there that were at Capitol
when we made it. That record was made with the
remainder of our Come Down budget...out
of a $125,000 budget, me made that with $30,000.
I don't know...our first record, that was ours.
T/K (Tim Kerr), they fucked up the contract, they
owed us tons of money, we just took the record.
Capitol, I don't think they know it exists, they
don't pay attention.
I want to finish
up some harmonies, and just release the fuckin'
thing.
Pando:
This has turned into something like Smile.
A lost album.
Taylor:
It has...it is really cool.
Pando:
What is the craziest thing a fan has done for you
- or to you? (Renney: And were you aware of it at
the time?)
Taylor:
(Laughing) I don't know, it depends on your
definition of "crazy".
Pando:
Wild...unexpected...stupefying.
Taylor:
Probably the best thing is...I like the women who
are six feet tall, smart, artsy, beautiful,
comfortable - a couple of my girlfriends have
been like that - who say, "You're amazing, I
want you." That's about as stupefying as it
gets. Generally, those are the ones that...we
have an amazing relationship for a year, and then
they dump me for...Alice In Chains. I got dumped
for Alice In Chains, I got dumped for Guns 'N'
Roses...I got dumped for big bands...
Pando:
At least that's a consolation...
Taylor:
...Trent Reznor...Yeah, kind of, but it's also a
little insulting. It's like, "Am I
dumb?" Then I write "Godless"...it
just keeps happening to me.
Pando:
Are you the type of man who can trust a woman?
Taylor:
I actually feel like that, yeah. I never have
open relationships, I don't do that. Whenever I
start to get jealous, I think, "Fine,
whatever, what is she going to do? She'll find
someone that's more caring, that will take care
of her when she's sick, the way I do? Someone
that flies her to Manchester on our two days off,
rents a car, drives to Wales, sleep in the car,
get really stoned and run around that village
where they shot The Prisoner - you know,
the TV show - go white-water rafting with my
uncles and cousins in Idaho? Are they going to
find somebody like that? Are you kidding?"
And then, of course, they do.
Pando:
Women can wake up one morning and change their
minds.
Taylor:
Well, they don't tell you...they start not being
home and stuff, and you know what's going on.
When you tell them, they say, "You're crazy,
I don't want to talk to you." You call her
house, and her roommate says, "I haven't
seen her, she hasn't slept here in five
days." Then she finally calls and says,
"I have to move along, I can't see you
anymore, you're going crazy." And you say,
"I know what's going on, you don't have to
lie to me - don't insult me...whatever,
goodbye." And then you see it in some gossip
column in the back of Rolling Stone or
some shit like that. I think, "All that time
we went out, and she thought I was stupid, an
idiot." That's sad (sighs).
Pando:
Have you ever gone through periods of paranoia
about women's attraction to you, because you're a
rock star?
Taylor:
Yeah, a lot. Paranoia? Fuck, yeah. I've thought -
me being absolutely beautiful as a human - that
maybe they thought they were falling in love with
this rock-star, glamourous thing...and there's
almost nothing glamourous about this job. It's
non-stop insults, it's filthy, it's smelly - and
it doesn't get any better. It's not any better
for David Bowie. It's fucking disgusting, it's a
white-trash mistress. Any girl that wants the
glamourous rock-star thing had better fall in
love with the man that's doing it. So you just
try to be a lovely...man, I guess, and then
they'll love you...and then they don't (laughs).
 I'll meet somebody, it'll
be good. I was stalking Parker Posey for awhile.
She's perfect, she knows the
"un-glamourousness" of it, she knows
what it's like to be a cult figure - how you're
the whole world for certain people, and then
other people have never heard of you. We feel
alienated in the same places - we feel good here.
We go to a club - we feel like we don't fit in.
So we go for a walk across Manhattan, bouncing a
rubber ball and laughing. Perfect - except that
she's got a boyfriend (laughs). But we call each
on the phone and do that whole thing. I keep
stalking her, but I can't have her.
I'll find the
one...maybe in the grand scheme of things, I
still have work to do, in my tiny little
Christ-like way. Comforting people, keeping
people from becoming serial killers, helping them
exorcise their demons, in the comfort and
security of our records. Maybe that's what I'm
supposed to do for now - make about a zillion
dollars and then meet somebody and then...I'm
tired of traveling...it's a lovely thing to be 30
and be tired of traveling. My parents are like 60
and are really into traveling...fuck that. I want
to hang out on my ranch when I'm 60...get on my
horse, not get on an airplane. When I'm sixty,
there'll be a river by my house, and there'll be
horses, and my kids and grand-kids will come
over...my wife will be writing a novel, and I'll
be writing children's stories, and making
soundtracks for movies that I like.
I'll be playing
$180-a-plate dinners, Brent and I in our tuxedos
or sharkskin suits, with my silver bowl haircut
and him with his huge white Garfunkel afro,
singing harmony, playing acoustic guitar,
covering Simon and Garfunkel songs or something.
(Cocking his head to one side) Listen to that,
isn't that amazing? (we hear the Dandy Warhols'
opener, SF's brilliant Black Rebel Motorcycle
Club, begin their soundcheck).
END
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