Writers
Gretchen
Federlein
Gretchen Federlein lost about 20%
of her hearing at a Midnight Star concert in 1986.
Awestruck by the power of a funky cut, she has
superstitiously heeded the band's warnings against
"parking" on the "dance floor" ever
since. A 28 year old Detroit transplant, she's a staff
hip hop writer for NW electronica mag Resonance.
She gives props to: bass, breakdancing, freestyling MCs,
and Fat Boys references. The wack list includes: booty
songs, raps about bodily functions, and chumps who yell
"WHOOOOOOO!" at hip hop shows. Kick her a rhyme
at mmslanty@nwlink.com.
Captain Spaulding
Captain Spaulding is a retired
clipper-ship pilot and the curator of the Rock and Roll
Hall of Fame in Chicago, Illinois. While the more famous
institution of that name is located in Cleveland, the
Chicago version is both more modest and truer in
spirit--a rumored mountain of dusty vinyl and a battered
old hi-fi in a basement apartment where the good Captain
regales visitors with many a sea chantey. He enjoys sumo
wrestling and beef jerky sculpture, and counts as his
heroes Ferdinand Magellan, St. Augustine, and Michael
Jordan. Like most men of the sea, he is a romantic; this
crusty old bachelor seeks a woman who might use the term
"inamorata" in a love letter and knows all the
words to Van Morrison's "Jackie Wilson Said".
Reef Valmont
Suffering for his sex by the
caravanettes, the anti-Goth and The People's Columnist
Reef Valmont, 27, operates in smoky light and uses many
identities in his not-quite narcissistic life of written
epiphanies and chair-shot truths, flipping The People's
Finger at the villains and raising The People's Fist to
the heroes.
Come to the Emerald City
by way of England, Germany, Italy and Texas, Valmont,
using his other name, has written/still writes for a
number of publications including The Rocket, Puncture,
The Stranger, Industrial Nation, Sin, Kill Pearl Jam
Dead, Seattle Weekly, Verbahten Ubervixens and Cock Of
The North. He once did dulcet voice-work for Muzak too,
and scary evidence of this still exists on their
web-site...
Valmont's favorite songs
are 'I'm Losing More Than I Ever Had' by Primal Scream
and 'Suck' by Nine Inch Nails, his favorite wrestlers are
Edge, The Rock and Mr. Ass, his favorite word is
arbitrage, and he despises starfuckers, alcoholic
manic-depressive music editors and Arsenal supporters. He
has never slept with Courtney Taylor, despite the rumors.
All litigation should be sent to crowgod9mm@aol.com, or just bring it in person to the
Crocodile's bar. La la la.
Gail Worley
Gail
Worley is a double Aquarius, living in New York City's
East Village. Her turn-ons include cheese, sleeping in,
foot rubs and Goth boys with day jobs who wear lots of
make-up and smell good. When you've finished perusing all
of Gail's current and archived Worley Gig columns and
cutting-edge interviews, additional reviews, interviews
and witty commentary by Gail can be found in Request, Ink
Nineteen and Meanstreet Magazines and online at CD Now
and Amazon.com as well as other fine publications. Gail
balances her rock and roll hipster cache with her more
metaphysical side. She is a second-degree Reiki
practitioner whose clients include many local rock stars.
